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- Paul Bailey
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- Paul Bailey is a mailman from Phoenix, Arizona. The citizens on
- Mr. Bailey’s route call him “Postal Paul.”
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- Vitals:
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- Speed 4.0
- Attack Power 2.5
- Stamina 9.5
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- Sir Waka Aka Tuli 
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- Please give a warm welcome to Sir Waka Aka Tuli.
- Despite his Ph.D. from Oxford, Waka still practices
- the art of witch-doctoring for his tribe in the Oloki
- Rain Forest!
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- Vitals:
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- Speed 4.5
- Attack Power 1.7
- Stamina 10.0
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- The Super Fan 
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- Give a big WOOF!, WOOF!, WOOF! for Travis Fullerton.
- Attending Northern University of South Eastern
- Illinois for his 12th semester, Travis is petitioning
- his school to create a degree in "College Bowl Beer
- Guzzling". His buds in Phi Ralpha Alpha call him
- "The Painted One".
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- Vitals:
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- Speed 3.5
- Attack Power 3.0
- Stamina 6.0
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- Shopping Bag Lady 
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- Let’s hear a loud cheer for Georgia May Helms! Shopping
- is her life, and she comes to the Weekend Warrior show to
- polish her shopping combat skills. She’s in the Shopping
- Hall of Fame, having invented the "Credit Card Speed Draw.”
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- Vitals:
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- Speed 4.0
- Attack Power 1.5
- Stamina 9.5
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- Hull 
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- She just calls herself Hull! Hull is on the Weekend Warrior
- show to generate some much needed publicity for her punk
- band, Rash. Rash’s new song, Bisecting Reality, is topping
- the charts the local college station’s charts at number 496!
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- Vitals:
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- Speed 4.3
- Attack Power 2.2
- Stamina 9.0
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- Cowboy 
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- Billy Horseshoe is our reigning champion from last season!
- He credits his mother for teaching him how to be a winner!
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- Vitals:
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- Speed 4.7
- Attack Power 2.0
- Stamina 9.0
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- Delicatessen Dan 
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- Say hello to Daniel Schwartz, otherwise known as
- “Delicatessen Dan”. Dan works as a butcher in his home
- town of New York City, and makes a great hoagie!
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- Vitals:
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- Speed 3.0
- Attack Power 3.5
- Stamina 6.5
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- Spaceboy Ramirez 
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- Well blast me off! It’s Neil “Spaceboy” Ramirez. Neil’s been
- on twelve shuttle missions, one visit to the Mir space station, and
- has survived three plane crashes. He’s now looking forward to a
- down to earth challenge on the Weekend Warrior show!
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- Vitals:
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- Speed 3.5
- Attack Power 3.2
- Stamina 5.0
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